This is my favorite photo of my wife, Lindsay. It perfectly captures a playful look that is often missed in photos that I take of her, but I see it daily. It’s become a look I crave.
In the early 2000’s I began working at a bank as a security consultant. I was placed as their onsite IT person and routinely had to take care of printers, user helpdesk tickets, and servers as well. Lindsay was a problematic user. It seemed as though her computer would always act up, way more than it should’ve. But as you can already guess, I was up for the task. There were times that I had to spend what seemed like hours on her computer, scratching my head. “What could be doing this?” I would think to myself. “I’ve never seen a computer do this.”
Hours spent, computers fixed, and documents printed, time moved on. Unbeknownst to me, there was a receptionist, Sally, who thought we would be cute together and began to play matchmaking. Lindsay would tell her, “I am not sure. He’s not my type.” Sally would persist. Something led Lindsay to listen to her.
On our first outing together (it was a lunch date) Lindsay and I went to a local pizza joint. I barely ate as Lindsay grilled me. I mean it was the most intense 20 questions I’d ever experienced. These were not questions about my favorite color:
- “Do you believe in God?”
- “Do you believe in the Trinity?”
- “Do you spank your kids?”
- “What are your 5-year and 10-year goals?”
I was sweating by the end of that lunch. Here’s the thing, not only was she beautiful, but she was purposeful. She had her mind and her way. She was determined and driven. She was strong and a little bit spicy. I loved every minute of it. But, I was scared. I had been through a rough bit and was apprehensive about getting back into a relationship. Truth is, she was in a similar boat and we weren’t sure how to best meld our families.
After a group dinner date to Kobe’s, we drove ‘round downtown Sanford at night and talked. For hours and hours, we debriefed our lives and our plans. What pains we experienced, how we’ve been hurt and how we wouldn’t be hurt again. We drew boundaries and intentions. We started with the end.
This song by David Wilcox perfectly sums up our experience; while we didn’t have bad dates, we didn’t beat around the bush. We started with the end. I am so glad we did.
Lindsay and I have been married in one of three ways1, 17 years today. I have grown to know that Lindsay is a fierce warrior for life. She cares deeply and loves passionately. She is the truest person I’ve ever met. She has taught me so much about life, about myself, about all the things that matter. There is no way I can express how much I love her; only to say that she is singularly the most cherished thing in my life.
Thank you for learning to love sushi, for playing games with me, playing dress up, going to metal concerts, and diligently and expertly loving and teaching our children. All of them. You amaze me and I admire you so much.
I love you!
Post Script: Turns out Lindsay used to delete systems files on purpose to break her computer… 🥰️
Lindsay and I, privately have a date where we committed ourselves to each other. Then we got married in a courtroom on Feb 2nd, 2007, and the following year we had a ceremony on Leap Year Day 2008. ↩